Donna’s “Donnaisms”

Yogi Berra is well-known for his unique sayings like, “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” or, “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.” In her conversations with Ted, Donna has also crafted some very unique, pithy sayings – which she says Ted has “doctored” a bit. For posterity it would be good to put a few down on paper so that others can enjoy them:

Ted, you aren’t breathing the way you need to!

I’ve only known one pair of triplets!

Ladies with hairpins shouldn’t have their heads squeezed.

CD players don’t work unless they have CDs in them!

(Ted) At work Donna contacted me to make sure to call her so she could tell me she couldn’t tell me something!

(Ted) It’s too cool in here. (Donna) Let’s turn the heat down!

(Donna to Ted) If you’re good you can put garlic on your eggs, and even if you’re not good you can!

Sometimes I might mix real eggs with “eggbeaters,” and then sometimes I might mix “eggbeaters” with real eggs.

(Donna after looking at a photo in the Wheaton College Tower yearbook) Ted, you were such a fine-looking man then!

You use pinking shears to cut pants you want to hem so the thread doesn’t unravel: that keeps it from unraveling.

Isn’t that something? If there weren’t any muscles your bones couldn’t move!

Ted, you don’t look any different under water!

You’re so relaxed your muscles aren’t put together right!

(Donna after weighing herself on the scales) I think my bones are getting heavier!

Are your eyes awake, or are they open?

(Ted) You have a nice tan on you. (Donna) I’m glad it’s not on somebody else!

(Instead of saying “That’s the icing on the cake) Donna said, “That’s the cheese on the cake.” (Ted) That’s from living so long in Wisconsin!

(Donna to Ted) Are your legs strong enough to put you up in the air?

What we need at our house is a bird bath for birds!

It’s really hard to hold the phone and talk at the same time!

(Regarding the French lady who lived to 122) That’s a lot of buttons to sew on!

When people are alive and breathing – that’s when they do this lung surgery!

You can buy a lot of stuff at Wild Birds Unlimited to scare birds!

Not much point in going into church if it is not open.

I slept so well I’m still sleepy!

(Donna to Ted) Your whiskers keep growing at night!

It’s the first of December and all the calendars are turning!

I forgot I was trying to remember! The last few years I really got so I enjoyed Christmas – until I met Ted!

(Ted) It’s right at 0 degrees. (Donna) That’s pretty cool!

(Donna) Do you have enough shirts for tomorrow? (Ted) I only have to wear one. If it ain’t fixed, don’t break it!

We trust that tomorrow will be a new day!

It sounds colder outside: I can’t hear anything!

Only people who sit down on the job can go to work tired!

(Donna to Ted) We wouldn’t have such a dent in the mattress if you slept there by yourself!

We have to have something to keep us up to give us our last breath!

We can laugh longer at the end of the day!

Ted, that bus will cost $27 to O’Hare, and it will cost the same to come back!

I don’t notice too many around here wearing long underwear!

I just have a few drops left in my perfume bottle. If I don’t use any, the perfume won’t run out!

The room was crowded – until everybody left!

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